Right on time
by Anna974
Summary: Jay has not been the best partner or friend to Hailey lately, even keeping her at distance while he goes through some personal matters. While hurt and disappointed in him, she finds herself feeling stunned when he finally confesses the reason of his misfortune.


"Dammit Jay! You're late again! Call me back when you're on your way or let me know if I have to take my own vehicle!"

She hung up and threw her phone on the couch, distinctly getting hindered after attempting to reach him for the umpteenth time. She had been set for him to give her a ride to work - like he always did - but for the third time this week, he hadn't showed up on time.

Well, there must have been a record to beat in lateness for this instant, he hadn't showed up at all, lying low.

Her phone buzzed and she went to pick it up, on the brick of giving him hell before she saw Voight's name flash on the screen. She exhaled loudly. Even given the fact she was in for a rough time, she never considered ignoring him because of the inevitable and disastrous repercussions this would have on her. Thus, like a good little soldier, she exclaimed:

"Hey Sarge!" She tried to sound as cheery as possible but was met with silence for a few seconds.

"Where the hell are you and Halstead!?" He didn't bother to return the courtesy to make it crystal clear he was disgruntled.

"I'm on my way. Halstead was supposed to pick me up an hour…" He didn't let her finish her sentence and demanded,

"I don't care! Be there in 10." And just like that he hung on her. Not the least startled by his tantrum, she sighed out of exasperation and recalled all the ways she was going to make Jay pay for this.

It wasn't like him to stand her up this way and she was beginning to get worried about him. She also had to admit he had been distant lately, always a miles away. She had sensed he was doing everything in his power to mask whatever was bothering him but if he could pretend with everybody else, she knew him better than anyone.

He wasn't okay, he was worn out.

And she wasn't on the receiving end of his confidences.

_That_ hurt badly.

What could possible be going on for him to forget all about her?

* * *

When she arrived at the precinct ten minutes later like Voight had called for, she saw Jay coming out of his office, an apologetic expression on his face at the sight of her. She walked towards him, so focused on getting everything out in the open that she involuntarily ignored everyone in the process. Her eyebrows were raised and when she came at his eye level she punched him in the chest while lamenting:

"Unbelievable!"

Not wanting to make a scene in front of their friends, he mouthed a "Not now" which had a knack of getting on her nerves.

"Yes now!" She retaliated, aggressively. He looked taken aback by her outburst but didn't get the chance to respond as Voight immediately called her last name from his office.

She jumped at his icy tone but still managed to glare at Jay while pointing a finger at him and threatening to cut his throat. Jay offered a small smile at the funny gesture but that tiny woman knew full well how to be intimidating.

In no mood to mess around, she shoved him aside to enter Voight's office. The rest of the team, clueless as to what was happening, snickered at Jay's expense.

"What's your problem this morning Upton?" Voight asked calmly when she passed the door to take a seat before him.

"My partner is an unreliable asshole. That's my problem." She answered bluntly, as an occurrence.

"Well like you said, it's _your _problem. Is this work related?" Defeated by his twisting of her words, knowing all too well where this was going, she shook her head no.

"Then you stop making trouble in my unit and sort this out with your partner at the end of your shift. Understood?"

"Copy that Sarge." She stood up and turned to walk out of his office before he called out to her,

"Just show some compassion towards him." His tone and facial expression immediately softened and she frowned, confused as to what he meant by that. But he contiguously dismissed her with his hand, implying he did not want to go into the details with her.

So Voight _knew a_nd she didn't.

What the hell was going on!?

* * *

"Where do you think you're going right now?" She questioned later that day, following him downstairs into the parking garage.

"Hmmmm, home?" He replied as a pending question, not so sure now she would allow him to leave just like that.

"So, you weren't planning on explaining why you've been standing me up three times this week." She stood firmly before him when he only wanted to smile because her green coat was so big on her, it looked like it would swallow her any minute. But he refrained from doing so as his display of mockery would have been inappropriate given the high-strung circumstances.

"Listen Hailey, I'm sorry for this morning. I had to run an errand and…" She cut him off with her hand and went on to say:

"Okay, so let me get this straight. On Monday, you had a leak at your house, that's why you were half an hour late to pick me up. Yesterday morning, it was Will who asked you to come by for a coffee because he was allegedly feeling depressed about Natalie and today you didn't even bother to contact me or show up at my house because you had to run an errand!? Come on! Don't you have a better excuse than that!? If you don't want to ride to work with me anymore, just say so."

She had enumerated his pathetic excuses on the first three fingers of her right hand, accepting - while at it - that her last comment had sounded incredibly childish. Internally acknowledging the reliable and loyal person he was, she assumed he must have had a pretty valid reason not to step up for her, but she wanted him to stop taking her for a fool. Or a stranger for that matter.

"Come on Hailey, don't read too much into this. I'm sorry I have been so out of it lately, I promise I won't be late to pick you up again."

"I'm not pissed that you're not picking me up in the morning. I'm pissed because I'm worried about you and you're lying to me."

"Lying?" He tried to play coy about the situation but his voice was hesitant. She didn't even need to annotate his behavior since she was anything but dense. And she was a detective in case he had also forgotten about that.

"Yes! Because I had Will on the phone and he clumsily confirmed you weren't with him yesterday. And after my reprimand with Voight this morning, I'm pretty sure you didn't have a leak or didn't run an errand."

She didn't need for him to utter a single word. Once again, his demeanor said it all. He looked down, caught red-handed and incapable of facing up to her eyes.

"Voight is your new best friend right now?" He shot her a look, perplexed by her inquisition.

"He knows what's going on, doesn't he?" She challenged further. He nodded, cornered.

But he didn't feel like putting everything out in the open _here_. He was going to let her calm down and come by her place later tonight. She just didn't need to know that now, in case she would reject his offer.

"You won't talk to me? Fine, I'm not wasting my time Jay. Have a nice night, I'll meet you here tomorrow."

They both exchanged an intense and sorrowful look. She was affected that she hadn't been able to get through to him and it pained him to witness her affliction when he was incapable of laying his cards on the table and risking for everything to change.

Yet, she was still standing there, persisting on triggering a reaction from him.

He never said anything.

While his face pleaded for her forgiveness, she shook her head in regret and turned to go her separate way.

* * *

Standing on her front porch, he had been contemplating the doorbell for a good ten minutes now, dwelling on the day's events, his thoughts running a thousand miles. He had finally came to his senses and to the conclusion that he owed it to her to adopt a new approach and show honesty.

Because she had never failed him. She had always been a willing confidant whom he couldn't deny always had his best interest at heart. Obviously, seeing him in such a weird stance was as unpleasant for her as it would have been for him let the situation be reversed. Therefore he wanted to be the man she deserved to have by her side: honest, vulnerable and owning his flaws. What she would do with that piece of information was up to her.

Summoning the courage to face her, he pushed the bell button while leaning on the doorframe apprehensively.

He heard footsteps by the door but he presumed that after seeing him through the peephole, she must have been contemplating _why_ he had made the trip and _if_ she should let him in. However, he was certain her curiosity and obstinacy would get the best of her and in truth, without further ado, she opened the door in a swift movement.

"Jay?" She let out surprised, acting as if she hadn't been observing him just a few seconds ago. She was dressed in a simple grey T-shirt and black sweatpants, her curly blond hair gathered up in a lose bun. It wasn't the first time he had seen her dressed so casually but he was always taken aback by how beautiful she looked. In anything.

How he_ loved_ her. It hit him every time he caught a glimpse of her how deep and genuine his love ran for her.

"I'm sorry for this week. And for earlier at the precinct. I should have been honest from the moment I felt myself flipped. You don't deserve being strung around. Real men own up their fears, flaws and truths. I am desperately thriving to be that man."

She smiled at his abruptness. He _was_ a good man but this plain fact was extensively oblivious to him. She didn't know many who would have the courage to deliberately expose their weaknesses. And it tug at her heartstrings to know that for her benefit, he was disposed to do so.

"Come on in." She asserted, openly. Letting him in her house and her space was a clear sign that she was offering a possibility to mend what he had screwed up earlier. That already felt like a relief.

He followed her lead and entered her kitchen. On the way, she picked up two glasses and a tequila bottle as they sat down around the waterfall countertop. She started pouring them drinks, allowing the silence take the space it needed until he was ready to talk. He contemplated his glass and played with it absent-mindedly, not really sure he cared for alcohol right now. He wanted control over his thoughts so she would know he had his head and heart in the right place when he would confess.

"I've started therapy again this week." He stated point blank. "I've suffered from insomnia these past few weeks and I thought my PTSD was playing old tricks on me again." He looked up to her but she chose not to say anything, putting a comforting hand on his arm while nodding for him to keep on enlightening her.

"You see, I've been really scared of going down the deep hole again but my sessions helped me realize war wasn't triggering my insomnia or anxiety." She abruptly frowned, unsure of where this was going.

"Then what is?"

"You." She opened her eyes wide and straightened up.

"Excuse me?" He knew she had heard him correctly so he didn't feel the need to repeat himself. He just had to let her process the information and grasp that there was nothing unfixable with the current events in his life.

"Today was my last session with the shrink. There is nothing alarming with me except that apparently," He paused, knowing there was no going back after this, "I'm in love." She was flabbergasted by his revelation and at a loss for coherent words.

"What?"

"My anxiety has always been caused by my fear of not having my feelings returned and believe it or not, low self-esteem. In our case, wrecking our friendship has been one of the many reasons why I have kept my feelings bottled up. And my insomnia is the result of, well, harboring feelings for you for a long time, which have kept getting stronger, eating me up."

Her jaw kept on dropping as did the bombshells. After all the scenarios she had made up in her mind, she had been a million years away from expecting she would be the source of his misfortune.

"It's a bit more technical than that but to put it simply: I can't stop thinking about you." This was the final blow, unaware it could even be a possibility for her to have that kind of effect on him.

"What about that kind of honesty, huh?" He said, chuckling in discomfort while witnessing the color palette of stupor on her face. She winded up nodding her head frantically, trying to gather the million thoughts filling her heart and soul right this instant.

"It's refreshing." She ended up declaring after a few seconds. She offered a smile, sill trying to regulate her breathing but grateful he had managed to spill his guts. Though, she was still puzzled as to where this conversation was heading.

"So you're saying you're having trouble sleeping and panicking because of…_me._" She paraphrased while pointing towards her, still dumbfounded but slowly processing that her partner was in love with_ her._

"I guess so. Look, I didn't want to say anything because from here, everything is messy. And yet, keeping everything under wraps was pushing you away. So I was stuck. I'm really sorry for leaning on you like that when you didn't ask for anything…" He was rambling to avoid any more awkwardness that would ensue after his confession but she cut him off,

"No, no please. Don't apologize," She said softly under her breath, in an attempt for him to relax. "I just don't know what to say, it's all so unexpected." He stared at her, his brows furrowed.

"Is it, really? I thought you had grilled me a long time ago." Maybe he was right. Maybe unexpected was not the correct term to adopt here. But she sure as hell never expected for such a wonderful human being to fall this hard for little her.

"I mean, why would I think that you have _feelings_ for me?" She inquired, earnestly.

"The question is: why wouldn't I?" She immediately flushed at his straightforwardness. "You're smart, you're passionate and compassionate, you're loyal. You're crazy beautiful." He whispered the last part, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable than she already seemed to be. Too late, the color on her face reddened even more at his admission.

"Did you swallow a pill of nothing-but-the-truth, kind of thing?" She asked, breaking the tension while laughing wholeheartedly now, the sound of her laugh like music to his ears.

"That's what you've been demanding, right?" He returned her smile, yet too nervous and grave to convey any form of joviality.

"Indeed."

They suddenly reverted back to being serious, both silently playing with their hands nervously. For the fatal question was burning Jay's lips and he wasted no time in affirming,

"Listen, whatever you decide from now on is the right answer. If you want me, then I'm ecstatic. If not, you have to understand that it's okay. I just have to know where this leaves us."

She contemplated how to put words into what was actually tormenting her so she figured a little retrospective on what they had been through until now was a good reminder and justification of what she had recognized she was feeling as well.

"You know, when we first got partnered up, I was so honored to get into Intelligence that I wanted for this," she said her finger going back and forth between them, "to work out really bad. But you were dealing with a lot of stuff at the time and you were really…"

"Guarded?" He managed to finish for her.

"Exactly. And at times, I really thought about giving up on earning your trust. What kept me from doing so was that I immediately sensed that you were one of the good ones. You still gave me a really hard time though, you know." She chuckled, reminiscing all the times she offered assistance and he gave her the cold shoulder.

"But you've gained my trust. And if our partnership is so strong today, it's all thanks to you. You've always been the best support system for me."

"You've also been very protective of me and cared so much for my well-being on and off the field. So I think you've done your part too." She winked reassuringly.

"What are you trying to say, Hailey?" _Hailey_. She was just now realizing how much she loved it when he uttered her name. At the precinct, he called everyone by their last names except for her. She should have caught up on it sooner, how special she was to him.

"You and I have been through similar hardships in the course of our lives and the job has left us scarred on so many levels as well."

Sensing the _but_ that was coming from her sentence, he didn't push as she opened her mouth to say something but closed it. She wasn't looking directly at him so he knew she was somehow collecting her thoughts and coming to terms with her feelings her own way. He offered silence to leave her the space she needed when out of the blue she pursued by saying:

"But I truly think we were meant to find each other. I feel like us growing closer was inevitable and has been the healing path to reach the purest form of friendship and trust."

"Friendship?" He questioned dumbfounded, unable to mask the disappointment in his voice while his heart was sinking.

"Yeah. We definitely had to come to _that_ to decide whether or not it could turn into something else."

"Like what?" She was dancing around her answer and her words were putting him through a rollercoaster ride he had never wished to partake in.

"Like true love." The moment she uttered the world love though, his growing impatience vanished. His head shot up and he relished in the sight of her as if he had never come across such a precious and delicate thing in the whole world. A delicate thing that could never be broken.

Her heart melted as he looked like a little boy on Christmas Day.

"You love me too?" He asked, the most genuine grin growing on his face as he took both of her hands in his, squeezing them tight as to reassure him she was real.

"I do love you too. I thought you had grilled me by now." She stated, quoting him from a few moments prior.

He snorted before drowning into her eyes, his smile fading, asserting how much he cared and craved for her. She held his gaze, inaudibly reciprocating his unspoken words as he went to close the distance between their faces. Just before their lips touched though, he paused as if to ask for her permission. While she was touched by his chivalry, she grabbed him by the neck to pull him into a fiery and urgent kiss. They whimpered at the hasty move but promptly melted the second their lips came into contact and every wrong was made right.

"So how much is Voight involved in all of this?" She inquired in a puzzled tone, pulling away from him brusquely.

"He just knows I've been to therapy this week again. He assumed I was consulting for my PTSD, given my record." She nodded, caressing his arm back and forth, their lips still inches away from each other.

"Sorry again, for not showing up this morning. And for being late the times before." He reiterated, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Well, I believe you're just right on time Jay."

She brushed his lips with hers and then rubbed her nose with his, not believing how quickly she was turning into the mushy, lovey-dovey type of girl she had promised she would never be again.


End file.
